(BRANDON HANSEN/Chewelah Independent)
Week one of our latest season on NE Washington Fantasy Football has familiar faces
After waiting for over a year for live sports, we finally get the chance to overanalyze high school football and come up with ridiculous Fantasy Football point systems. Why are we coming up with fantasy football for NE Washington football? Because most the teams are 8-man football teams and the statistics are ridiculous. Throw in that we are playing football in February and March, there is snow on the ground along with three less defenders on the field and things can get kind of wacky.
The NE Washington Fantasy Football system is easy really: one point for 10 yards rushing or receiving, one point for 25 yards passing. Six points for a touchdown catch or run (including fumbles, kickoffs and interceptions ran back for scores) and four points for a passing TD. We also throw in some points for the amount of deer poop a team has on its football field because its NE Washington and that is GRITTY.
We’re also switching from “Stevens County Fantasy Football” to “NE Washington Fantasy Football” because it looks like we have teams from all three counties: Ferry, Stevens and Pend Oreille.
While the 11-man 2B squads begin action this weekend, we do have the NE 1B squads to break down for Week One. The one thing we’ve noticed is: Oh look, Selkirk is winning Fantasy Football again…
WEEK ONE NE WASHINGTON FANTASY FOOTBALL WINNER: LUKE COUCH
After the graduation of record-setting QB Jay Link – a guy who won the fantasy point totals basically every week in 2019 – I figured we might have some more diversity in the fantasy football winners.
Newly moved over from the running back position, Selkirk QB Luke Couch has won Week 1 of NE Washington Fantasy Football with four passing TDs, one rushing TDs, 81 yards rushing and 88 yards passing. That equals a total of 33 fantasy points, which makes him the winner. Dude wasn’t throwing touchdown passes three years before this and now he’s just BOMBS AWAY because this is what Selkirk does. They’re the Buffalo Bills of the NE 1B and Couch is their new Josh Allen. For Selkirk’s next trick they’ll probably have an offensive lineman running the spread offense next season.
In a 46-0 victory over Hunters/Inchelium, the Rangers would lull the defense in with their run game and have some wide open targets open over the middle in the passing game. Couch also played defense in the first half of the game and recovered a fumble for his worries. While a senior, meaning we won’t get to see him in the fall, it looks like Couch is going all in on the 2021 spring season. It also probably means that we’re going to be featuring him a lot every week.
Also look at the video. Look at the snow. What are we doing? Playing Canadian football?
RUNNING BACK OF THE WEEK: Cusick’s Colton Seymour
Listen we don’t even have complete stats on Colton Seymour, but we know for sure he finished with the second-high point total for Week 1. He could have more points, we don’t know. This is why everybody needs to report their stats to us OR Max Preps.
Seymour scored three touchdowns against Springdale last Friday in a 28-12 victory, including a 98-yard touchdown run. So at the very least, we know he scored 25 fantasy points. It’s probably more than that, but we can’t confirm because we are a scientific operation here at NE Washington Fantasy Football.
Already one of the best basketball players in the state, he’s also a power on the football field.
ALSO TAKE A LOOK AT: Selkirk’s Logan Link
Another Selkirk guy? At this point, Selkirk is holding an Occupy NE Washington Fantasy Football protest with their play. Logan Link, the sophomore brother of Jay Link, will continue to carry on the Link name by getting on this list. Against Hunters/Inchelium, Link ran for over 100 yards and scored a touchdown. The spry Warrick Dunn-like running back it a nice change up from the other battering rams Selkirk has running the football.
LINEMAN OF THE WEEK: Springdale’s Juan “The Fridge” Ruiz
A LINEMAN IN FANTASY FOOTBALL? Blasphemy. But Springdale continues to be the most fun team in NE Washington. The Chargers employed one of their lineman, Juan Ruiz, as a running back late in the game against Cusick and he kept running over people. Ruiz had over 70 yards rushing, largely due to a long touchdown run. That equals a 13-point performance in fantasy football which is probably the highest point total ever for a lineman.
ALSO TAKE A LOOK AT: Springdale Running Back William Adams
William Adams showed once again why the Chargers do their best work on the ground. The running back picked up over 80 yards rushing against Cusick and finished with eight fantasy points. If you’re keeping score at home that is 150+ yards on the ground for two running backs. They were also able to hold a very speedy Cusick team to 28 points, which in eight-man football is like a shutout. So it appears Springdale will have a tinge of 1985 Chicago Bears to them. This means that Springdale QB Austin Paladin will need to start wearing ray-blocker sunglasses all the time now.
JAMBOREES DON’T COUNT: But keep an eye on Kaden Krouse, Nick Franks, Kruz Katzer and Clay Jeanneret/Zach Bowman
We can’t really count jamborees in fantasy football but lets talk about the Cougars and their 20 or so varsity snaps against Northwest Christian. Senior RB and all-state player Kaden Krouse returned an interception for a touchdown and had a long touchdown run called back because of penalty. Kruz Katzer also had a long touchdown run for the Cougars and has the coolest running back name since Bo Jackson. Clay Jeanneret and Zach Bowman have created a two-headed quarterback tandem that I can’t keep track of. Literally they’re probably the same person and I just don’t realize it. Anyways, Clay Jeanneret threw like a 40-yard touchdown pass to senior WR and the pride of Valley, Nick Franks.
Against… this is in 20 snaps of football. Essentially the Cougars could break NE Washington Fantasy football if they keep up this pace.
As always, if you’d like your team in NE Washington Fantasy Football, send us your stats at email@example.com