FROM THE EDITOR: They don’t build them like they used to

FROM THE EDITOR: They don’t build them like they used to

(BRANDON HANSEN/Managing Editor of the Chewelah Independent)

One only has to buy modern-day products to discover that quality seems to be lacking compared to past years of hard-nosed American goods that could survive communism just as well as wear and tear.

Everything is plastic now; our iPhones crack if you stare at them wrong, bumpers on cars are essentially made of egg cartons and our economy is apparently in trouble again? Or at least that is what I’m told by a media already trying to drum up drama for the 2020 election.

In some way, of course, things are more disposable. It’s how our economy works: cheap, affordable goods. On the other hand: whatever happened to something that lasts?
At least we have a few things that last a long time in this country, braving weather, age and use to continue to soldier on. Here are some things that have indeed been built to last in the U.S. …

THE U.S. CONSTITUTION
Despite every high school educated scholar in this county that likes to act like they know the constitution front and back (but only know the second amendment off the top of their head), the U.S. Constitution is actually the longest-surviving document that single-handedly are rules for a country. Other countries have come and gone; France has had like 20 revolutions at this point, England goes through government coalitions like Elizabeth Taylor went through husbands and I’m pretty sure Greece’s government has like $1.23 in their bank account. But hey, a document made by some colonists in the 1700s still rules the most powerful country on earth! The actual paper document still exists, too, and will continue to be preserved for ages unless someone leaves Nicholas Cage alone with it or the Declaration of Independence.

BASEBALL
People are already saying football is a dying sport, but look at baseball – that’s been going on since the Civil War. For some reason, we love this gentlemanly activity that was once played in suspenders and top hats. The first baseball players didn’t wear gloves because they had already caught their hands in some factory machines and couldn’t feel anything anyway. Baseball is older than a self-governing Canada… just think about that.
Baseball is so old, people thought playing the game under electric lights WHEN THEY WERE INVENTED would ruin the sanctity of the game. Now, if they only knew about the Seattle Mariners…

JIMMY CARTER
The dude is still trucking and making homes for people. Say what you will for his stint as president but goodness, if we all had Jimmy Carter genes there would be like 20 billion people on the planet.

MOUNT RUSHMORE
Yeah that was built to last. It’s going to be awkward in the year 3218 when they’re trying to figure out whose stone nose hairs they’re uncovering from the last nuclear war. “Boy people back then used to be HUGE!”

JENKINS MIDDLE SCHOOL
That middle school will probably outlive us all. It will be standing when Planet of the Apes’ star Charlton Heston time travels to an ape-run world and he will wonder out loud why they didn’t blow it up.

THOSE BUTTERSCOTCH CANDIES OLD PEOPLE GIVE OUT
I swear they made like one run of butterscotch candies in 1895 and were like “That’s it! We don’t need to make any more, please distribute to every old person’s pocket!”

So you see, some things do last in the good ol’ USA, you just have to look a little harder.