(BRANDON HANSEN/Managing Editor)
Kieffer Salinas scores 63 fantasy football points…
I’m not sure how this happened, but in the second half against Hunters, Wellpinit’s Gabe Kieffer-Salinas broke nine tackles on his way to a long touchdown run. This is quite remarkable considering it’s eight-man football down in the 1B’s.
In the second week of Stevens County Fantasy Football, I take the same equation of one point for 10 yards rushing or receiving, one point for 25 yards passing. Six points for a touchdown catch or run (including fumbles, kickoffs and interceptions ran back for scores) and four points for a passing TD.
There is a bit of a science to high school football stats, so I apologize for inconsistencies, I can’t add or subtract and my father was actively mocking me on the sideline of the Chewelah game of how I added up yardage. My dad is a nice guy, I’m just no ESPN statscast guy.
Also a slight note, the 1B’s play eight-man football while the 2Bs play 11-man football. Some might consider this unfair to score 8-man and 11-man the same way but I’m not doing some Einstein-like equation to take points away from 1B teams. They have fewer linemen anyways, so maybe it events out.
FANTASY FOOTBALL WINNER OF THE WEEK: WELLPINIT’S GABE KIEFFER-SALINAS
After scoring 33 points last week in Stevens County Fantasy Football, Wellpinit QB Gabe Kieffer-Salinas has basically broken our scoring system. By rushing for 272 yards, passing for 52 yards, notching five rushing touchdowns and throwing another touchdown pass, he’s scored 63 points.
That’s 93 fantasy points in two weeks. Green Bay Packer QB and fantasy football mainstay Aaron Rodgers wishes he put up numbers like that.
I feel that since addition is not my strength, Kieffer Salinas is just laughing at me as I try and add up all his yard and point totals. This man would break a T-85 calculator.
HUNTERS QB SHINES AND HE IS ONLY A SOPHOMORE
Hunters QB Solomon Christen might be a rising star in the 1B league. Against Wellpinit, Christen notched 177 rushing yards, three rushing touchdowns, 92 passing yards and two scoring passes.
That would equal 46 points in fantasy football, which would have been by far the best performance last week when Kieffer-Salinas “only” scored 33 points.
As Senator Palpatine said in “The Phantom Menace”:
Hunters’ Trey Young scored 13 points as he made four catches for 74 yards and caught a touchdown pass.
KETTLE FALLS LEO CLENDENNEN SCORES A LOT OF POINTS AS A FULLBACK
In Kettle Falls’ overtime loss to Liberty Bell, Leo Clendennen rushed for 106 yards and scored four touchdowns to notch 34 fantasy football points.
He’s also moonlighting as a lineman and appears to be only tackle-able if you park an 18-wheeler in his way and wait for him to get tired.
CHEWELAH IS LIKE, REALLY GOOD
In their 14-12 victory over No. 8-ranked Liberty, it seems like even when Chewelah faces top-flight competition, their Fed-Ex Fisk offense can still rack up the yards.
As a team, Chewelah collected 367 total yards of offense. Quarterback Jake Jeanneret was the top scorer, notching 21 fantasy points after rushing for 102 yards and passing for 189 more yards. He threw a touchdown pass to Jaron Baldwin to round out his scoring.
Cougar fullback and sometimes stand-in for Hulk Hogan, Kaden Krouse, notched 20 fantasy points by rushing for 59 yards, an important game-winning touchdown, and 95 passing yards.
The duo (which we’re going to have to come up with a nickname for) scored 41 fantasy points in a game that saw just two touchdowns scored by Chewelah against a defense that has won state championships. Who knows what they’re capable of for the rest of the year?
Here is his game winning touchdown that rang Liberty’s bell.
Oh and I almost forgot to say, Krouse and Jeanneret did this again a defensive lineman that was literally the size of a mountain. Listed at like 6’100″ and 900 pounds, here is an actual picture of the Liberty lineman who I would be afraid of to meet on the street…
Okay that may be “The Mountain” from Game of Thrones but its basically the game guy. The grow em big down in Spangle.
JAKOB LARSON CONTINUES TO IMPRESS FOR COLVILLE
Colville will tell you they’re 0-2, but they’re a sneaky 0-2 as the Indians have schedule a preseason schedule tougher than anything that the University of Washington plays.
In their loss against Meridian this weekend, Colville running back Jakob Larson ran for 136 yards and one touchdown, for a total of 19 fantasy points. Quarterback John Knight notched 11 fantasy points after passing for 95 yards and touchdown and running for 47 more yards. Colville WR Chase Kanamu had 10 points with a TD catch and 48 reception yards.
Colville out-rushed Meridian 216-191 but still fell in the nonleague game. They’ll play Chewelah this weekend in an old NEA League matchup. As any good program does, they’re probably telling their players that they’re the underdogs in the game, but considering Chewelah has like four kids total (and this is with the JHS theatre department putting on football costumes and standing out there) on the sideline during the game, I’m not so sure.
EXTRA POINTS: This is the part of the column where I assign random points to people.
Since Chewelah downed a ranked opponent in its biggest win in many years at Snyder Field, you have to give the team like 50 points. They can spread it around, buy a new scoreboard, put that sideline tarp back on the sideline or get band director Joe Trudeau to play the bagpipes after each touchdown. They can do what they want.
I think 14 points has to go to Sam Triplett. While he’s usually the center, he’s also the extra-point kicker for the Chewelah Cougars. He learned to kick field goals while watching the Adam Sandler movie “The Waterboy.” I’m not kidding. He also kicks the ball straight on instead of soccer style. His dad is a forester, he raises pigs for the NE Washington Fair. He is literally the field goal kicker that Chewelah deserves. His two extra points clinched the game against Liberty and he should be a solid source of points for Chewelah this season.
Also, I will give 200 points to Hunters if they fix their scoreboard. Trying to keep score and stats without a scoreboard is absolute murder.
NOTABLES: Springdale running back Avery Kitt scored 11 points after rushing for 50 yards and a touchdown against Wilbur-Creston. Apparently it takes two schools to stop him. Northport’s Ty Williams notched 11 points with 51 reception yards and a touchdown against Tekoa-Rosalia