(By Brandon Hansen/Editor-in-Chief of the Chewelah Independent)
The saying goes around Chewelah that we experience four distinct seasons.
After mis-dressing for the second straight week and either sweating up a storm or freezing to death, I’m convinced there’s fifth season we should adopt.
Call it Sprummer, and Sprummer can be a real pain in the butt.
Spring is a time for rain, mild temperatures and watching things begins to grow. Summer is a time to go to the lake and enjoy the sun. The current season we’re experiencing right now? It’s a time to dodge lightning strikes, realize you should have brought a jacket as a monsoon bears down on you and change the thermostat in the house roughly 40 times a day.
Here are some activities we can do during Sprummer to pass the time until the sun gets out for good and everybody breaks out the BBQs and fireworks.
Watch baseball and softball coaches turn into meteorologists — There’s nothing better than watching a coach who just… wants… to… finish… the … season… look nervously at the horizon. “Oh those are heading west we don’t have to worry about those,” is a common saying.
“Those are cumulus clouds, the baddies are the nimbostratus and cumulonimbus clouds.” This is all while they’re breaking out bags upon bags of that field-dry kitty litter stuff. I think spring sports coaches might wring their hands over weather more than farmers.
Wash the car, only to have it rain — Who doesn’t like a nice finish of waterspots? I sure do. After just letting things be for like six months and a nice crust of dirt/mud/other unspeakable things to accumulate on your car, isn’t the first car wash of the year a liberating experience? That is until it rains again and your spot-free shine was all for not.
Taking a drive — “Well let’s just take a drive up there” is one of the most uttered phrases in Stevens County. When I lived on the coast rarely would you take the route that took you longer to get somewhere.
Around here? Well lets see what the river looks like. Let’s see if ol’ Chuck still has that tractor parked in his front yard. When the power went out in Chewelah a few weeks ago, no joke, traffic actually increased because everybody wanted to see how the town looks in total darkness. “Taking a drive” has to be the most Stevens County thing since grapple skidders.
Turkey hunting — Or as we like to say around here, look out your door and see a turkey.
Thrift store and yard sale hunting — Why do I get the feeling of Indiana Jones everytime I step foot near a yard sale. You literally could uncover some historic artifact that has been lost to society after residing in an attic for decades, or it could just be a collection of old Steven Segal VHS tapes. There’s no inbetween.
Guessing how dangerous Chewelah Creek is right now — Can someone send the creek a memo? Flooding is over. The creek can stop running like one of those good runners in Bloomsday (You know the kind that wear the fit bit and running clothes while I walk the course and make multiple stops at fast food restaurants along the way. Showoffs).
While not flooding, all our waterways look like you ford one of those supertankers through the valley. Perhaps the city of Chewelah should open a port and everybody could get complimentary eye patches and talk like a pirate.
Deciding if the Drive-in theatre is a good idea or not — The Drive In is awesome. However it’s always a bit of critical thinking deciding if you want to brave Sprummer night temperatures to see Vin Diesel.
Declaring war against the mosquitoes — My goodness, did Moses get angry at us and decide to send some mosquitoes our way? I’m not sure how you can get a sunburn and get covered in bug bites at the same time but … the Chewelah area magically has that covered. Seriously though, can we call in some flamethrowers and tanks and do away with these pests? A few tactical nukes as well. I’m just really getting sick of running from these things anytime I take a step outside.
Lose all hope in the Mariners — Usually a mid-summer tradition but we’re knocking this out of the way before Memorial Day. Mariners Baseball: getting more efficient all the time.
Happy Sprummer everyone!